I am so filled with countless emotions I do not know where to start this description. To accurately relay to you what I have just experienced I would have to know exactly what I felt, but I simply cannot grasp my own emotions. However, as I begin to share this story perhaps I will be able to bring out emotions in all of you, in hopes that you feel connected in some way to what I, and my medical team experienced today.
This morning I woke up, drenched in sweat, with a persistent craving for cold water that simply never seems to be quenched here. Exhausted from a restless night I slowly staggered into the bathroom excited for the few minutes of the refreshing coolness I would receive in my icy shower. At least today seemed to be a ‘cooler’ day of only 38 degrees Celsius. A few short hours later we had ate breakfast, had devotions together and were on the road (in an SUV with blessed air conditioning, praise God) to our first medical clinic. This one was hosted in a small church only a short drive away, and as we got closer the excitement of unknowns began to rise incredibly. Soon we were setting up admission tables, chairs for our waiting area, our assessment area, wound care station, doctor’s table and ‘pharmacy’. All within a church 30” by 40” and a small shaded area created by hanging palm leaves like a tarp canopy. Within minutes we were in full swing seeing patients, doing all our assessments through translators. Such an incredible experience, and an amazing rush!
Then began what I’m sure were brimming tears of frustration when I began to receive simply devastating cases, ones I knew we alone could not fix. I have always thought that working in an area of the hospital such as emerg would be exciting… and it would, however I forgot about what it might feel like to tell a woman, who is so malnourished you can clearly see the stage 5 lump protruding from her breast, that she has breast cancer, knowing that she does not have the funds to give her a hope for survival. Or perhaps see the look on the man’s face who had to stop going for insulin treatment for his diabetes because it was too expensive for him to afford that after testing his blood sugar level twice (just to make sure the machine was in fact reading correctly) that the level was too high even for the glucometer to read, this condition critical and that without treatment his life was greatly endangered. I didn’t know what it would feel like to speak these words to someone, a human being, a precious creation of God, until today. And I am not sure that if I had taken the time to ponder this beforehand I even would’ve understood. I’m sure it was brimming tears of frustration. And yet somewhere in the midst of the heat, the sweat, the loud shuttering of metal from the overhead fans, the yelling and vehicles honking outside, and the various conversations happening between nurse, interpreter, and patient in the room I was still able to hear that soft, still voice, and feel his presence as I was able to pray over my patients, and realize once again that yes, there still is hope.
I had hoped that becoming a nurse would allow me to go into places I wouldn’t otherwise be able to go, and share Christ’s love with people who otherwise wouldn’t receive. It is amazing to finally see this, to live it. India is not a place that accepts missionary work, and we have to be careful on a daily basis who we are talking to and how much information we give out. But it is so incredible to see people who would otherwise never step a foot near a Christian church, come for medical help and willingly allow you to pray over them—sometimes to our joyous surprise even ASK us to pray for them. We saw over 150 people today, and how incredible to plant a seed in their lives, even when everything else seemed so hopeless.
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